A Strange New Town
by Jack HasSpareTime
Summary: Welcome to Night Vale Episodes (And a bit more) from Carlos's POV. There will be a bit of Cecilos (unavoidable with this show, and it will get fluffy and maybe smutty but I don't know yet). Once I catch up, it will be updated with every me episodes may be skipped, for it is not mentioned what Carlos is doing at those times and I'm too lazy to think up all of the science.
1. Pilot

"Come on," said Carlos, fiddling with his GPS. He was late, and a scientist should never be late. It was crucial that he get to this odd desert town to meet up with his coworkers. Apparently, the town was a huge phenomenon that defies most of the laws of science... and reality. He banged the GPS on the dash in frustration. The radio fizzled to life.

"_A friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep. Welcome to Night Vale._"

Carlos listened through the piano music, lulled in by it's beauty and the almost hypnotic voice of the show host.

"_Hello listeners,_" cooed the voice on the radio. "T_o start things off, I've been asked to read this brief notice: the city council announces the opening of a new dog park at the corner of Earl and Summerset near the Ralph's._"

"Oh," Carlos thought aloud. "That seems rather nice-"

"_They would like to remind everyone that dogs are not allowed in the dog park. People are not allowed in the dog park. It is possible you will see hooded figures in the dog park. Do not approach them. Do not approach the dog park. The fence is electrified and highly dangerous. Try not to look at the dog park, and especially do not look for any period of time at the hooded figures. The dog park will not harm you._" He said this all in a relatively monotonous and dark tone.

"And now the news." said the voice.

The second Carlos heard that, he noticed that he had driven out of the endless desert and into a town. It was a beautiful town, though it contrasted the colors of the desert. It wasn't oranges and reds like you'd expect it to be. Night Vale was a city of blues and purples and blacks. His GPS still wasn't functioning, but somehow he'd have to find a way the lab to meet up with his team.

Parking in an old car lot, Carlos walked a bit further and came to a modest little house. He knocked and a small old woman answered. "Yes?" she said sweetly. Behind her, shadowy, threatening figures loomed.

Carlos couldn't say anything for sheer terror of the figures, so he ran. He didn't stop until he came to the door of the radio station. Maybe someone here can give me directions. A bit cautiously, he stepped in.

It looked like the entrance to any regular office building, except the walls and most of the furniture was purple or black. No one was at the front desk. Out of sheer curiosity, Carlos walked down the hall behind the desk a bit. He encountered no one but came to a door. Dear God. thought Carlos. Please be somewhat normal.

Opening the door, he found a man sitting in a large office chair. The man was surrounded by many old-looking machines and appeared to be talking to himself. "Hello," Carlos said. "I'm new in town and I was wondering-"

"A new man came into town today," said the man, turning in his chair and revealing himself. He had white hair, but tanned skin. Peeking out from under his clothes (he was rather well-dressed actually) you could see glowing and slithering tattoos.

Carlos gasped a little.

"Who is he? What does he want from us?" The man practically slithered around him, staring at him as if studying a piece of art. Carlos became uncomfortable.

"Why his perfect and beautiful haircut? Why his perfect and beautiful coat?"

"Er-I'm a scientist," Carlos managed to spit out. He was a bit confused by this other man.

"He says he is a scientist." The other man was still speaking into the microphone, which he had taken off the desk. He put an arm around Carlos. "Well, we have all been scientists and one point or another in our lives. But why now? Why here?" His eyebrow raised inquisitively. "And just what does he plan to do with all those breakers and humming electrical instruments in that lab he is renting—the one next to Big Rico's Pizza? No one does a slice like Big Rico's." Looking right into Carlos's eyes, he repeated, "No one."

Carlos stood there blinking as the other man slipped a piece of paper into his hand and continued with his broadcast. "Just a reminder to all of the parents out there..."

Carlos unfolded the paper.

_**The station management is probably after you right now. Run.**_

_**XOXO Cecil**_

Under that was a phone number, presumably Cecil's. Not wanting to know why the station management was to be feared, he ran out of the studio door and ran smack into an intern. "Do you know where Big Rico's is?" Carlos inquired.

""Down the street. Take a the third left and just keep going. You'll see it."

With a quick "Thanks!" for the intern, Carlos sprinted out of the station and over to Big Rico's Pizza.

"-and that's about it," finished one of the scientists. Carlos vaguely recalled his name was Dan.

"That's it?" said Carlos. "This whole town is insane! Do the citizens even know what is going on? They couldn't even understand why scientists were here!"

"Then let's call a town meeting or something," said Maybe-Dan.

"Can we do that?"

"I don't see why not."

Carlos was lost among the crowd of citizens. He was looking for at least some sort of platform to stand up on, to tell and ask the city of Night Vale what was going on. As he pushed through a crowd towards a bench he noticed, the old woman from earlier offered him a corn muffin. "They lack salt a bit, but the angels needed my salt for a mission."

Politely declining, Carlos continued through the crowd. When he finally reached and stood on the bench, the people went silent.

"People of Night Vale," he said in what he hoped was an official-sounding tone. "My name is Carlos, and me and my team of scientists have come to study your town."

No response.

"Your town is actually very interesting. In the world of science, we'd call it a phenomenon. You are probably the most scientifically interesting town in the US."

Yet again the crowd remained silent.

"I have come to figure out just exactly what goes on here," the scientist concluded and stepped down.

This time the crowd let out gasps of fear and started whispering to each other. As Carlos walked back to his lab, he caught bits and peices of it.

"Is he crazy?"

"The secret police won't like this."

"I fear for him."

Instead of going back to the lab though, the other scientists convinced him to check out this house in a development known as "Desert Creek".

"Okay Carlos," said Maybe-Dan. "You might need to prepare yourself mentally. What you're about to see makes absolutely no sense whatsoever."

Carlos let out a breath of air. "I'm ready."

Maybe-Dan led him over to a row of three identical houses. They were all a nice lavender color with white shutters. The doors, however, didn't fit the houses. They were old, oak doors with brass knobs. It didn't work with the modern style of the three homes. Looking at it more closely, Carlos began to think there may be only two. "Does the middle one even exist?"

"That's the thing, Carlos," another scientist, who Carlos knew was named Sam, jogged up behind them. "The middle one seems to exist, which would make sense, as it's between two identical houses, but it, in fact, does not. We ran experiments on all three houses. The results on the one in the middle showed that it does not exist."

"How odd," said Carlos. He began to ponder what might actually be going on.

"I dare you to go knock on the door," said Maybe-Dan.

"Come on, guys." Carlos rolled his eyes. "Let's just keep this professional."

"Fine." Maybe-Dan turned to Definitely-Sam. "I dare you to knock on the door."

"Why don't you?" Sam retorted.

"Because I dared you to."

Carlos walked away from the petty argument. Picking up a notebook, he jotted down a few scientific notes, and then ripped a different page out and wrote a note.

_**Cecil,**_

_**I am writing this to you for non-personal reasons. There's a house at Desert Creek that doesn't exist. It seems like it does, but my team had run several tests on it that proves it doesn't. It seems like it exists, like it's just right there when you look at it. And it's between two other identical houses, so it would make more sense for it to be there than not. But it is definitely not there. Now my team will not focus and merely stands on the side walk as they dare each other to knock on the door."**_

_**~Carlos**_

He folded it and handed it to another scientist nearby. This one was female, which was odd, because he didn't remember hiring any. Maybe she was an intern. "Take this to the radio station. Tell them it's for Cecil." The scientist was happy to oblige and started in the direction of the radio station.

Suddenly, another strolled up to him. "Carlos, we are getting reports from our station on Route 800 that there are high levels of seismic activity in the area."

"That's odd. I don't feel the earth violently quaking. Are the monitors broken?"

"We have been told no."

Carlos sighed and began to write another note to Cecil. A radio broadcast was probably the best way to get the word out. Or maybe you just want to talk to him. a little voice in the back of his head said. He shushed the little voice and folded the note. By then the intern had come back, and he told her he had another note for Cecil. She giggled and said, "You know, if you keep sending me to talk to your boyfriend, they'll offer me an internship _there_."

"He's not my boyfriend," Carlos automatically replied.

"Right," she said. "And Grizzly Adams didn't have a beard. You should hear the way he talks about you on his show. I wish I had a man that sweet."

"The way he- what?" Carlos was bright red with embarrassment.

"It's adorable. I'll show you what he says when you the replay is on later."

"When-what?" But the intern had already left. Maybe I should go visit Cecil later, just to make sure he got the letters.

He waited about two minutes before making his way towards the radio station.

Walking into the station, Carlos went straight for the studio. As he opened the door, he heard that beautiful voice.

"And now, the weather."

Cecil hit a button and then turned around. "Hello, Carlos," he said brightly. "What's new?"

"Did you get my notes?"

"Yep, and I told everyone out there what was going on. Station Management wasn't exactly happy, judging from the odd noise I've been hearing, but that's no big deal."

"Oh. I didn't mean to get you in trouble," said Carlos.

"No, no. It's fine. I'm always happy to help."

"Well thank you, Cecil."

After a long, awkward silence, Carlos's Iphone buzzed. He opened it. Sam was face-timing him. "Do you mind if I get that, Cecil?"

"No. It's fine. I bet it's important, scientific things."

Carlos clicked answer and it was not Sam's face that greeted him, but the voice of the intern. "HiCarlosit'sDanathesundidn'tsetattherighttimeandI'mkindofscaredbecauseeveryoneis-"

"Calm down, Dana. Speak slowly. What is going on?"

Dana breathed in and out deeply."According to the scientists, the sun set ten minutes too late. Now they're all just- well, look!"

She turned the camera and it showed all of the scientists sitting around a table and looking at a clock. They were all making strange noises.

"What's wrong?" asked Cecil, making Carlos jump. Carlos hadn't noticed, but Cecil was looking over his shoulder the whole time.

"The sun didn't set at the right time. It set ten minutes late."

"How can a sun be late? How can it have a set time in the first place?"

"Because science, Cecil."

"Oh is that Cecil with you?" said Dana. She turned the camera back to face her. "Oh look at you two. What an adorable couple!" Carlos began to protest but she cut him off. "Okay I have to go. See you Carlos! Bye Cecil!"

Carlos put the phone in his pocket and took out another device. "Do you mind if I test the place for materials?"

"Go ahead," said Cecil.

As Carlos turned on the device, Cecil watched him like a hawk, well, not exactly like a hawk. Cecil had this look of adoration and affection in his eyes, but Carlos barely noticed. The device beeped and lit up and spun around. Carlos's eyes widened. _No. There can't be that much of _that_ here._

He looked up at Cecil, who had a hopeful smile on his face. "Carlos, would you mind being interviewed for the show?"

"I'd love to Cecil, but I have to go back to the lab. You need to evacuate the building right now. It's dangerous. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Sure. Good-bye, lovely Carlos."

"That new scientist — we now know it's named Carlos — called a town meeting. He has a square jaw, and teeth like a military cemetery. His hair is perfect, and we all hate, and despair, and love that perfect hair in equal Woman Josie brought corn muffins which were decent, but lacked salt. She said the Angels had taken her salt for a Godly mission, and she hadn't yet gotten around to buying told us that we are by far the most scientifically interesting community in the U.S., and he had come to study just what is going on around here. He grinned, and everything about him was perfect, and I fell in love instantly."

"Now do you see why I thought he was your boyfriend?" Dana asked of Carlos.

"That's- that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said about me," he replied. There was even a tear in his right eye. "But my relationship with Cecil is strictly professional."

Dana put her face in her hand in annoyance. "It doesn't seem that way to Cecil."

_Or to me._ Carlos thought.


	2. Glow Cloud

"_The desert seems vast, endless, and yet scientists tell us somewhere, even now, there is snow._"

"_Welcome to Night Vale._"

_I told him that._ thought Carlos, sitting next to the radio in his lab. He had gotten into the habit of listening to Cecil's show every day. It was the best way to learn about odd events occurring in the community. The scientists were still investigating the house that doesn't exist, but Carlos had other science things to do.

After talking about the new Radon Canyon tourism posters, Cecil said, "_And now, the news._"

"_Have any of our listeners seen the glowing cloud that has been moving in from the west? Well, John Peters- you know, the farmer? He saw it over the western ridge this morning. Said he would have thought it was the setting sun if it wasn't for the time of day._"

_A glowing cloud? What could that be?_ Carlos had studied many clouds in his time, but he had never heard of one that glows.

"_Apparently the cloud glows in a variety of colors, perhaps changing from observer to observer, although all report a low whistling when it draws near._"

Carlos took out a notepad and began writing this down.

"_One death has already been attributed to the Glow Cloud. But listen, it's probably nothing. If we had to shut down the town for every mysterious event that at least one death could be attributed to, we'd never have time to do anything, right? That's what the Sheriff's Secret Police are saying, and I agree. Although, I would not go so far as to endorse their suggestion to run directly at the cloud, shrieking and waving your arms, just to see what it does._"

_Okay so the cloud can kill. Is it some sort of poisonous gas? Are there projectiles coming out of it? Should I run at it shrieking and waving my arms?_ All of these questions and more were running through his head. "Dana!" he called.

"Yes, Carlos?" She popped around the corner. Dana was now Carlos's favorite intern. She didn't mind running errands or to the radio station. She showed up every morning to the lab or site right on time, bright-eyed and bushy-haired. She was a good little intern and a decent scientist-in-the-making.

"Have you heard of this glow cloud?"

"As a matter of fact, I was just talking to John Peters- you know, the farmer? He said it was over by Mission Grove Park. Are we going to go see it?"

"No, Dana, we are going to examine it." Carlos plopped some testing equipment into Dana's arms. "We need to run tests and see what this thing is."

"We know what it is. It's a cloud." Night Vale citizens weren't very keen on questioning things. It must have been so nice to not question everything, as is the job of a scientist.

"You see Dana, that is where you are wrong. If death is attributed and it is glowing, it is definitely no ordinary cloud." He held the door open for her to load the equipment into the trunk. "And we are going to find out what it is."

So the pair drove out to Mission Grove and when they arrived, John Peters- you know, the farmer? was already standing in the middle of the park.

Carlos got out of the car and was greeted by a gust of wind that knocked him over. His long, black hair flew in his face. Someday I am just going to cut this all off. He stood up and brushed off his lab coat. Looking up, Carlos saw it.

The glow cloud.

It was a massive thing. The cloud was purple. No red. No blue. No pink. All of the colors were dizzying. Sure enough, Carlos heard the noise, the low whistling that accompanied the cloud. The light from the cloud was bright, and looking at it too long was like looking at the sun.

Helping Dana with the testing machines, he walked over to John Peters- you know, the farmer? and began to set up.

John barely acknowledged Dana and Carlos. He just kept looking at the cloud, but then he said, "Huh, would you look at that."

Carlos did. The glow cloud was now raining small animals. There were lizards and crows and rodents coming out of this giant cloud.

John Peters took out his phone. Carlos could hear a feint snarling noise coming from the other end of the line. "Hey is this station management?" More snarling. "Well can you tell Cecil that John Peters is looking at the glow cloud, which is directly above Old Town Night Vale, and it is now currently raining small mammals?" Snarl. "What kind of animals? I don't know. Crows, lizards, armadillos, that kind of thing!"

Dana was also on her phone, talking to Animal Control. "How soon can you get here? Are you on your way?" The intern was now yelling over the wind.

Carlos, meanwhile, was getting extremely informative readings. It appeared the cloud was, at the very least, a living thing. It was also currently moving towards them.

"Take cover!" screamed Dana.

Carlos, John, and Dana quickly went to huddle under some of the few trees in Mission Grove Park. Dead animals surrounded them, and suddenly, everything went black.

"ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY GLOW CLOUD."

"WE ARE BUT PATHETIC HUMANS. WE MUST HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD."

"THE GLOW CLOUD IS SUPREME."

"ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY GLOW CLOUD."

Carlos, John, and Dana came to. "What just happened?" Dana asked Carlos.

"Well- I think- I think the glow cloud just passed over us." He looked at the pile of dead small mammals outside of the trees. "Yes it was definitely the glow cloud."

"So it has some weird mind control abilities?" said John Peters.

Carlos merely looked up in horror as the glow cloud was floating away.

Floating towards the Night Vale Community Radio Station.

_Cecil._

Carlos made a break for it. He ran after the cloud. Dana caught up to him, grabbing his lab coat. "It's fine," she said. "Cecil is indoors. He'll be okay."

Instead of calming down, Carlos ran to the car. He put the keys in the ignition and turned on the radio.

"_The Glow Cloud does not need to converse with us. It does not feel as we tiny humans feel. It has no need for thoughts or feelings of love._" Cecil's voice was terrifyingly monotonous.

"_The Glow Cloud simply is._"

"_All hail the mighty Glow Cloud!_"

"_All hail!_"

_Oh no._ Carlos thought.

"_And now, slaves of the Cloud, the weather._"

As the music began to play, Carlos couldn't help but laugh. Cecil always insisted on playing a music track instead of the actuall weather. "It's hot and dry- what else is new?" he would say. The glow cloud could control him, at least temporarily, but Cecil was fine.

And so Carlos and Dana drove back to the lab. That was enough for them that day.


	3. BONUS: Dot Day

**_Not an actual episode, but I wanted this in here. This would take place two days after the glow cloud incident so chronologically this makes sense. It's a bit fluffy, but it's also meant to develop Carlos as a character so I'm sorry, but deal._**

Carlos woke up with a yawn and a stretch. He went and changed from his pajama lab coat into clothes and a daywear lab coat. He went and brushed his teeth and yanked the knots out of his hair. Looking the mirror though, he saw something odd.

A little red dot.

It was there, a little red dot sticker, right on the tip of his nose. Then he remembered. It was Dot Day, a little Night Vale holiday where you put red dots on what you like and blue on what you don't. Somebody actually liked him. That was weird. Growing up, he had always been picked on, being that he was the geeky science boy. Not even his own parents had liked him much, given that they had abandoned him.

He looked at in the mirror, and though the name on the dot was backwards, he could tell what it said.

So instead of going downstairs into his lab, as usual, Carlos walked right out the front doors and to the radio station.

He walked past the front desk and to the door where he knew was the entrance to Cecil's studio. Carlos opened the door and found Cecil setting up for the show. "Hey Cecil," he said.

Cecil stumbled and dropped some papers. He turned around, smoothing his hair. "Hi Carlos."

"I noticed the dot that you left on my face."

Cecil was bright red. He couldn't seem to speak,"I-uh-er-"

Carlos took one of his city-granted ration of red dots and stuck it right on Cecil's nose. "No one has ever told me that they liked me before. Thanks for being such a good friend."

"Yeah. A friend. Yeah." Cecil finally noticed the papers that he dropped and went down to pick them up.

"Well I suppose I better get going," said Carlos. "Happy Dot Day, Cecil."

"Happy Dot Day, Carlos."


	4. Station Management

Carlos wasn't quite _there_ in the lab that day. His physical presence was there, of course, but his mind was wandering off. So, in the process of running tests on some sand in the Night Vale area, he ended up causing an explosion.

He wasn't hurt, but part of his hair had been singed off. Carlos shook his head as if to clear out his thoughts, made a mental note to visit a local barber, and resumed science. Night Vale sand was so fascinating. The color was odd, and changed in the light. It would go from a normal tan to a dark, blood red. The state of matter it was in was still not quite solid, and it was completely smooth. Carlos had found absolutely no rocks, and all grains of sand appeared to be the same size when observed under a microscope. Also, judging from the explosive fire that had ensued from mixing it with water, it had quite a lot of potassium in it.

Looking back on the event, he can't remember what he was thinking of before the explosion.

Telly's Barber Shop was just a block away from Carlos's lab, on the corner of Southwest 5th Street and Old Musk Road. He was greeted by a spinning, red and white pole with a sign that read "Telly's". It was fairly normal and out of place for this town, a cityscape of oddly colored buildings.

He was also greeted by a fairly normal man too, the typical barber. Telly was shorter than Carlos, not even 6 foot, and had a pot belly and a small mustache. The barber also really needed a shave, a shadow on his chin. In the regular world, Telly would be described as shady-looking.

"Good day sir!" exclaimed Telly, with a very thick accent that Carlos couldn't identify. He extended his hand towards Carlos.

"Um... Hello," said Carlos, tentatively shaking Telly's hand. "I need a hair cut. And can you make it short? I have to get back to the lab quickly."

"Of course." Telly lead Carlos into the shop and seated him in a chair towards the back. The barber whipped out cloak and wrapped it around Carlos's neck

"So, why you gettin' a hair cut?" Each word Telly spoke had a bit of a sneer to it.

"Well, you see, I was mixing substances at the lab and-" He gestured to the part of his hair that had been singed off. "-this happened."

"I see. I'll fix you right up!" Telly grabbed a scissors and got to work.

Carlos sat and watched as Telly cut his hair, but then noticed something. "Hey! That's a bit too short!"

"You said 'make it short'."

"I meant quick!" Carlos swore mentally. He had liked his long hair. Had. And Cecil liked it too.

"I am sorry," said Telly. "But now I must even it out."

_Oh well. Let's just hope it looks nice._

Telly snipped a bit more off and took out a hand mirror. He showed Carlos from all angles. "What do you think?"

Carlos thought it looked nice, and his head, oddly, felt a bit lighter. _Cecil won't like it though._ thought Carlos. Being polite as he was, he smiled at Telly. "Thanks. It looks really neat."

Then the scientist payed the barber and headed back to his lab.

Once he got back to the lab he resumed his study of the sand. He plopped himself into a chair and turned on the radio.

"_I am going to see if I can make a break for the door. If you don't hear from me again, it has truly been a pleasure. Good night, Night Vale. And goodbye!_"

_What's going on?_

A couple of minutes later, Cecil burst into the lab. He was gasping for air.

"Cecil. What's wrong?" The other man was out of breath, his hair and clothing in disarray and his tattoos not glowing as vibrantly as usual. Carlos pulled up a chair and had Cecil sit down.

"Station management got loose, so naturally I ran for my life. Didn't you listen to my broadcast today?"

"No. I had to get a hair cut."

Cecil's eyes widened. "But your hair was so perfect."

Carlos couldn't help but laugh a bit. The show host had just escaped some terrible creature, yet all he cared about was Carlos's hair. "There was an accident."

"How terrible!" said Cecil. "Thank heavens you're okay." He brought Carlos in for a bit of an awkward hug.

Carlos froze, but then put his arms around Cecil and patted his back. "It's okay Cecil. It's okay."


	5. PTA Meeting

_A pteranodon. How the _hell_ does a pteranodon get loose in a modern city?_ Carlos barely knew what a pteranodon was, let alone how to react should you find yourself facing one.

As it happened to be though, the answer was not to play dead, as it is with some large animals. Now Carlos was running as fast as he could towards the City Council meeting hall, where he meant to weigh in on the issue of the door. The pteranodon, however, having the unfair advantage of flight, was gaining quickly, so the scientist ran faster.

After a few more seconds, he noticed the pteranodon had stopped, and was now looking at something on the ground. I must have dropped something. Carlos felt his pockets and realized what he'd dropped.

His lavender chewing gum was no longer in his pocket.

He sighed. _Well, I suppose that it's better that that get eaten rather than me._ Lavender chewing gum is very hard to find, and Carlos doubted they carried it in Night Vale stores.

However, now the pteranodon's attention shifted back to him for a moment, so Carlos ran yet again. His running was quickly halted when he tripped over something.

First glancing around for his winged pursuer, then deciding that the coast was clear, he examined the object. It was black, rectangular, and smooth. He felt around it, and found no bumps or what would be imperfections. The oils on his skin wouldn't smudge the surface, which he could not identify the material of. A little electric current would spark up when you touched a corner.

Then there was a screech that reminded Carlos to run again. Picking up the rectangle, Carlos started again in the direction of the meeting.

When he got there he burst through the doors, just in time to hear Old Woman Josie say, "That old door. Oooh, that door! Someone's gonna get some kind of lead poisoning!"

The City Council members were all standing behind podiums, all 12 of them. To anyone average citizen of Night Vale, Carlos supposed, they looked normal. To Carlos though, they were incredibly strange. Of course they looked humanoid, but they had these weird markings, that all seemed to be invisible, but still visible. Can anyone else see those?

The City Council nodded in perfect synchronization. In unison, they all proclaimed, "You make a valid point, Old Woman Josie, and for that, we have to agree with you. We will take down the lead door to prevent lead poisoning."

Carlos couldn't say anything, he just looked down at the rectangle in his hands in despair. "There is no time. No more time." He had wanted to tell them all about the readings he had taken on the door that morning. What was behind it appeared to be some form of radiation, but he wasn't 100% sure if it was dangerous yet. Radon Canyon, however, is also a scientific miracle in itself. Tampering with anything, even just removing a door, could damage the sensitive environment.

Once the City Council reached a decision though, there was no going back, so Carlos left the meeting hall and walked back to his lab.

He was greeted by Dana, who aside from being his favorite intern, was now his last surviving one (Some people just can't handle the science necessary in today's society.). "So Carlos, what's new?"

"This." He placed the rectangle down. "Grab me a fresh lab coat and some safety goggles. We've got some tests to run."

He determined that the rectangle was some sort of odd rock. Dana told him it was made by a small up-and-coming company in Desert Bluffs after doing further research. Supposedly if you had the right materials, you could turn it on and it would function as a computer tablet "to make you more productive".

Carlos sent Dana out to go get him some of this chemical (which was only made in Desert Bluffs). Then he turned on the radio.

There was a great deal of static, so much that he could barely hear Cecil. "_Alright! I don't think he's going to stop, and he's started to levitate, so, let's go to the weather._"

["Closer" by The Tiny: watch?v=S6kPXH9HJvE]

Carlos loved indie music, so he really didn't mind not knowing the weather forecast.

_"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have just received word from Secret Police that the rip in space-time that opened at last night's PTA meeting has been sealed at last. The final missing pterodactyl has been returned to its own timeline in either prehistoric or alternate-universe Night Vale."_

_"The creature's lifeless body was found a dozen yards outside of the Dog Park entrance, stripped of all flesh, and with most of the organs inverted and strung around its exposed skull like an old fashioned soft meats crown, as worn by the 18th century religious leaders who settled our fair burgh."_

_"The dinosaur's body was returned to the vortex, the gateway closed, and the PTA meeting rescheduled for next Tuesday at 6:00 PM. That meeting will continue to address the important issue of backpacks, and whether or not they are causing autism."_

Carlos and Dana sat by the tablet, listening intently. The chemical retrieved had made it work, and it happened to turn out that the device also functioned as a radio.

"I know for a fact that backpacks don't cause autism," said Dana firmly. "It's obvious, but there are some people who may or not be... ignorant of what backpacks really do. I mean, how else would we keep the kids silent and conforming?"

The scientist was about to say something, but let it go. He was finally getting used to the weird and dangerous lives of children in Night Vale, which were now a little safer without dinosaurs terrorizing the city. Carlos just that should another PTA meeting cause a rip in time, that it brought through something a little more studiable.


	6. The Shape in Grove Park

Carlos rubbed his temples and sat down on the ratty couch in the lab he had for breaks. He had just done so much _science. _There were so many tests to run and so many different things to run them on. Carlos wasn't quite sure how many days- or possibly weeks -had passed.

He reached over and grabbed his cell phone. The screen showed five messages, two from Cecil, one from the City Council, one from the Sheriff's Secret Police, and one from some sort of unknown number. He listened to that one first.

"Hissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss," an ominous voice sang. _Beep. _and the message was over.

Next was the one from the Sheriff's Secret Police. "Mr. The Scientist," addressed a serious-sounding lady. "Many of your so-called 'experiments' and their findings violate the laws of the city. We ask that you follow them more astutely or we may take you in for reeducation." _Beep. _

Carlos rolled his eyes. He can't count the amount of times he received a similar message. The town and its inhabitants were just so _interesting. _He couldn't help but wish to study it all.

Then he opened the message from the City Council.

As usual, they spoke in a unison whisper. "Carlos the Scientist, we are calling in regards to the house you claim does not exist. Please call us at our next time of convenience, which should be at about 6 pm three days after you receive this message." _Beep. _

_The house doesn't exist. _thought Carlos annoyedly. The City Council merely refused to admit that the house is, in fact, nonexistent. He could understand that a bit though. It's hard to let go of beliefs you've had for a long time, no matter how wrong they are. The problem with the house is that it was a matter of extreme importance and danger. What else in Night Vale didn't exist? And how does something fake seem so real?

_No matter. What about Cecil? _There were two messages from him. The first seemed somewhat nervous. "Hi... Carlos? Just... call me when you have the chance. Please?" _Beep._

The second sounded more confident, firm. It was Cecil's radio voice. "Hello, Carlos. I just happened to have questions on that circular rock in the sky, the moon. Why is it there? What purpose does it even serve? Why is it so beautiful? It kind of reminds me of you. I mean-" Cecil's voice momentarily lost composure. "Um... it's white, usually, like your lab coat. So yes. The moon. I haven't really seen you since you got your hair cut. Maybe we should have a chat?" _Beep._

Carlos wanted nothing more than to chat with Cecil about the moon. It was a very scientific thing that he happened to know a lot about. He made a move to call Cecil, but then Dan called from the other room, "Carlos! We made a breakthrough in the vegetation department."

He dropped the phone and ran into the main lab.


	7. The Drawbridge

Crime Day. It was such an odd concept to Carlos. All Taurus's are exempt from crime for 24 hours. What could he do with this valuable time?

Right now, he was currently wasting it by eating breakfast.

There's so much he could investigate. Where would he begin?

The City Council, maybe? Or what about the library? Maybe he could think about the Dog Park. Or acknowledge the existence of angels.

Well there was Steve Carlsberg.

Two days ago Steve Carlsberg was whisked into a Sheriff's Secret Police van and carted off to God knows where. Carlos liked Steve. He was curious and the only person who seemed to notice that anything was wrong with this town. It was against the law to help anyone who the SSP had caught breaking the law, but today, of course, Carlos was exempt from those. If he could wire his equipment and hack into the city's tracking equipment...

Carlos sat at his desk in slight dismay about how to go about this. And where would the City Council even put the database of trackers?

Cecil would know. He picked up the phone that sat next to his desk and dialed up the station.

Cecil picked up right away. "Night Vale Community Radio. Cecil speaking."

"Hi Cecil. I'm calling for... non-personal reasons." He felt the slight need to clear that up. "Where would one find the City Council's tracking database?"

"Carlos, it's always on their website. Just type in ' '. It's the first link on the top. They have it up there in case anybody wakes up not knowing where they are."

"Okay. Thanks. Bye, Cecil."

"Good-bye, Carlos. Call me again sometime."

"Of course," he replied. He loved conversations with Cecil. They'd taught him many things about Night Vale, radio work, and cats."

It was a moment before Carlos hung up. Cecil's voice just had that hypnotic quality that made you want to keep listening forever. With a sigh he quickly typed the website in the address bar. Immediately the City Council's website popped up. He clicked the "Tracker" link and typed "Steve Carlsberg" into the name space. The little blinking blue light showed that he was in a town nearby, Desert Bluffs.

Carlos didn't remember how he got to Desert Bluffs, just that he drove into the town with the intention of finding Steve Carlsberg and returning him to Night Vale.

According to the Tracker, he'd find Steve at a place called "Styro's", a local ice cream shop, in the third booth from the door. He'd printed out some directions on how to get there, and the streets were very efficiently lined that it was extremely easy to find. The whole city seemed to move with an eerie efficiency that made Carlos uncomfortable.

Steve was indeed sitting inside the shop, eating what appeared to be a styrofoam ball in a waffle cone while his head was bleeding profusely. "Jesus-" said Carlos before turning, running back to his car. He pulled out a first aid kit and grabbed some gauze. Then he sprinted back inside, or tried to, he ran into a man.

Were it not so weird, Carlos wouldn't have stopped. This man looked like an inverse Cecil, though he had the same tall and scrawny body shape and facial structure. Instead of dark skin and white hair, he had white skin and dark hair. His tattoos backwards, dots on the outsides of the tentacle sleeves on his forearms, not the inside. He also had no eyes, although the third one on his forehead was sewn shut, where as Cecil had beautiful eyes, and the third one was white. And his clothes were a different color scheme, red and orange and yellow as opposed to purple and black and white. That made Carlos notice that the whole town was composed of those colors. _How did these enormous cities pull off such color coordination?_

"Sorry!" said the man, in a chipper manner. Unlike Cecil, his voice was higher-pitched. "I just wasn't looking where I was going!"

"Pardon me sir." Carlos pushed past Cecil's look-a-like and into the ice-cream shop.

Steve was babbling something. Carlos couldn't catch much other than "Janice" and "helicopter training". The scientist quickly and efficiently bandaged up Steve's head. He scooped the surprisingly-light Steve Carlsberg up in his arms and carried him out the front door.

Carlos wasn't really sure how they got back to Night Vale. He just knew that as soon as he opened the back door to help Steve out, he'd insisted on not having Carlos walk him back home.

"Please, you've done enough." The man had big brown begging eyes and a surprisingly good puppy-face.

"Fine," said Carlos. "Be careful, okay?"

Steve nodded and walked away, babbling once again, Styrofoam ice-cream cone still in hand. Carlos sighed, got in his car, started it up, and drove back to the lab.


	8. History Week

Carlos hadn't really meant to figure out that the Glow Cloud had been having some nightmares and thus inflicting horrendous thoughts on tourists; he just sort of happened upon it.

And, logically, he was rewarded with 15 puppies, because the downtown municipal offices were overrun with them. The tourism board also sent puppies to every scientist and intern on his team.

Carlos was allergic to animal fur.

"I'm going to call him Reginald, or Reggie for short," said Dana, stroking her new pet, but careful to avoid the ridges behind his ears (on cats, the ridges are along the spine).

Carlos sneezed as he opened up the trunk, pulling out a large box of puppies, all of them barking excitedly. "What are we going to do?"

"What if we gave everyone a second dog?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Dana. We have 15 dogs and 27 other scientists on the team. It wouldn't be fair."

"Just say the ones who get them are your favorites."

"You know I can't do that," Carlos sighed, setting down the box of puppies. "Science is always equal. Isaac Newton even stated such in his second law: for every scream into the void, there is an equal and opposite scream into the void elsewhere."

"Maybe the Angels- THAT DO NOT EXIST-" Dana stated loudly,"will take them?"

"They've got enough non-existent work." Carlos had never been a strong believer; it hadn't taken much to not acknowledge the existence of Angels. He'd seen them and they didn't look much like the halo-and-harp-type, were they real. They were all purple and covered in eyes within black irises, but nonetheless they helpful to the town- if they existed. "I could call Cecil," Carlos mused as he leaned back into his car and dug around for his phone.

"He's not an animal person."

He turned around. "How would you know?"

"Carlos, I'm a native citizen. I've listened to his show since I was old enough to understand the Children's Fun Fact Science Corner. I know all about Cecil Gershwin Palmer."

"Gershwin?" He smirked. What a cute name. Wait what?

"But I'm no gossip. So don't ask me."

"I would never-"

"Alright! Alright! You've got me!" Dana sat down on the edge of the trunk and adjusted her hijab. "It's not even gossip if he blatantly talks about it on the radio. What do you want to know?" She scratched Reggie behind the ears.

"Uh- I have nothing in mind in particular. But thanks for the offer, Dana."

"Okay. We should probably focus on our puppy problem anyway."

Carlos could barely breathe through his nose. "What about John Peters-You-Know-the-Farmer?"

"Ooh I worked for him on earth. He was always looking for some dogs to help heard in the cheep."

"Cheep?"

"Chicken-sheep hybrids. Nasty buggers will peck your eyes out if you get too close, and they'll use both beaks." Dana shuddered. "That poor Farmhand Michael."

"How fascinating!" Then Carlos caught himself. "I mean horrible. How utterly horrible."

John Peters-You-Know-the-Farmer was grateful for the dogs and promised to let Carlos come back sometime and observe the cheep. Carlos's nose already felt clearer as he handed over the box of puppies.

On the way back to the lab from John Peters-You-Know-the-Farmer's house, Carlos came up with a question. "How many people has Cecil dated?"

"Wow, you are an actual teenage girl," Dana remarked sarcastically. "Not many though. He had a thing with this guy named Nikola once, and he tried dating an intern but they died due to being too bossy about Station Management. That's all I remember him talking about."

"Okay." So a shyer guy.

"Specifically, that is. There're a lot of other mentions you hear around town; he's slept with five Sheriff's Secret Policemen, once went out with a hooded figure, dated a few regular citizens, but he doesn't get out much so it usually ends quickly."

"Oh." So a not-shy guy. But that's okay. "I was just curious."

"Like I said- actual teenage girl."

"Am not!"

"Are too! Am I right, Reggie?"

The dog barked. Carlos sneezed.

A/N .

.  
Yeah idek what I was doing with this chapter. I swear- the Lights in Raydon Canyon will be epic though. 


	9. Lights in Radon Canyon

It was late Friday night (Well, at least Carlos thought. Time in Night Vale is occasionally irrelevant; so in actuality it could've been very early Saturday morning.). Carlos had decided against leaving the lab that night, considering he had some chemicals that were time sensitive in their reaction. He kept part of his attention on the ticking-down timer he had set earlier. The rest of his attention was on landscape.

Carlos's lab, being on the edge of town, had a back window that overlooked the desert surrounding Night Vale. There was a longs stretch of sand and then a series of bluffs and cliffs. He had learned during his time in the city that it dropped into what they called Radon Canyon. At night, the rock and sand around it shone under the light of the moon, and as the clouds drifted across the singular lunar spotlight, the shade would change and cause a gleam of sparkles to slowly dance across the formations. It was an enchanting sight.

As he looked out the window, Carlos couldn't help but notice that the gleams seemed different. They were more colorful than usual. They changed more quickly. Instead of reds and grays, there were fluorescent greens turning to vibrant orange and flashing bursts of white light.

Carlos popped the window open a crack. From the general direction of the canyon, he could hear small, unintelligible noises. It may have been a language or a dying animal or maybe some sort of code-jamming signal. Whatever it was- it certainly wasn't normal.

His attention suddenly diverted to the chemicals- which were reacting much more quickly than they were meant to have. The blue liquid was bubbling up towards the top of the graduated cylinder. Carlos ran over and picked up plastic wrap and a rubber band. He quickly secured it over the top of the cylinder. The liquid, more deprived of oxygen, ceased to bubble. Carlos let out a sigh of relief and went to record his observations.

On Saturday night, Carlos was just packing up when he noticed more flashing coming from the back window. He quickly clicked his microscope case shut and half-jogged over to the window. He cracked it open a little. Once again, lights and odd noises were coming from Radon Canyon. They were remarkably similar to that of the previous night. He wanted to go investigate, but the majority of his scientific instruments were still sitting out. His eyes flicked between the lights and the equipment. Twice. Finally he sighed and decided he couldn't leave a messy workplace.

Once he finished, the lights had stopped.

The next night, Carlos stood at the back window, completely prepared for the lights to start up again. He had already opened the window, and had a microphone ready to record the noises to see if he could make sense of them later.

The lights started flickering from the canyon. The noises began to flow. Carlos found himself standing there, almost paralyzed, entranced.

His entire body went rigid. There was something about those unnatural noises that drove a stab of fear through Carlos. Not fear of the unknown, however, for the unknown holds interest, but an absolute feeling of gut-wrenching terror that made Carlos want to slam the window shut and run away. But he only stood there. For how long, he knew not.

Suddenly, a billboard.

It materialized from nowhere. On it resided a picture of a turkey sandwich and the word "HARLOT" in large, bold letters. It snapped Carlos out of his near-hypnotic state.

He blinked his eyes back to focus and looked to the microphone. To his dismay, he'd forgotten to turn it on. In a slight bout of frustration he knocked it off the sill. "Take that," he said defiantly, yet quietly.

Carlos sighed, which turned into a yawn. Removing his lab coat, he sat on the little couch in the back of his lab and curled up contentedly. Sleep took over quickly.

Carlos woke up the next morning with the canyon still on his mind. What could incite such sheer horror? What could literally root him to the spot with it's presence? He only really knew one person to call.

Carlos slowly opened the door to the studio. "Hello?" said the beautiful baritone voice.

"Hi Cecil. It's Carlos. I am visiting for non-personal reasons." He knew he sounded a bit dorky when he said that, but he needed to let Cecil know this was serious. Even so it embarrassed him, and his hand reached up and grabbed the back of his neck as he spoke.

"Oh!" Cecil stood up immediately from his chair and faced Carlos. He cleared his throat. His tone became smoother and sweeter, like on the radio. "Hi Carlos. How are you today?"

"I'm doing well, thanks. And you?" he replied, stepping into the small, dark room.

"I'm doing great... well now that I'm talking to you. Speaking of you, I was wondering if you were free this-"

"Cecil, have you noticed the brightly-colored lights and noises emitted from Radon Canyon this weekend?"

He paused and cocked his head to the side, his hair slightly flopping with the motion.. "Lights? I don't think so. Would you like to maybe talk about it on my show?"

"I'd rather not. But I believe there are some sinister forces at work here. Potentially something with signal-jamming abilities," he added, because he swore he had turned on that microphone.

"I'll ask for you, then. Anyway, this Saturday-"

"I'm afraid. I'm afraid for us." He spoke quickly, remembering the terror that had overtaken him. "For all of us in this strange town."

"I'll ask. I promise." Cecil sounded genuinely concerned.

The scientist stood there for a moment, head hung and silent. Cecil ambled over to him and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Carlos finally said, looking back up at Cecil. "But I have to go. I have to go investigate the canyon. It's my duty as a scientist."

"I know you'll figure out what's going on," assured the radio show host.

Carlos smiled. "Thanks."

"Of course."

He stood approximately 50 feet from the edge of the canyon. The sun had just gone down. This is it. he thought.

He waited.

A few City Council members gracefully made their way to the canyon from the city's edge. They didn't seem to notice Carlos.

How they even got down into the canyon was unclear to Carlos. From his point of view, it looked like they simply fell off the cliff. They each went one by one.

Once the last Council Member disappeared over the edge, Carlos crept over and peered into the canyon. He could see all the Councilmen standing in jeans and t-shirts, very different from their usual dark robes, in a formation that resembled a pentagram. They started changing and swaying.

His phone vibrated in his front lab coat pocket. Why did I even bring this? He hit the answer button anyway. "Hello?" he whispered.

"Hi Carlos. It's Cecil. Just so you know, the Parks Department said the lights were from a Pink Floyd Multimedia Laser Spectacular, so there isn't much to worry about. Oh well. What are you doing this weekend?"

As the Councilmen swayed, lights started so glow around them; lights that did, in fact, look to be lasers. To the right of them, whisps began swirling out of nowhere.

"This is even worse than I imagined," Carlos murmured into the phone.

"Are you okay?" Cecil asked.

"I have to go." He clicked his phone off an d looked for a potential way into the canyon. He saw what appeared to be a large air sack at the bottom. So he steeled himself and jumped.

He kept his eyes shut the entire way down, landing on the air sack with a small poof. He quietly crawled off and hid behind a boulder to continue watching the City Council. As his eyes adjusted he could see more. A stage-like platform. Speakers. A microphone and a guitar on a stand.

Some of the whisps took shape too as they floated up. They all looked like people, some of them like long dead ones. They shot across and around and up and down the canyon. One flew past Carlos, with a loud shriek that faded as it passed and settled on the stage.

Is that... Syd Barrett?

Are the souls of the dead whipping around this canyon all so the City Council can listen to Pink Floyd?

I hope none of them escape.

What if one of them escapes?

Carlos was internally panicking. Meanwhile Syd took the stage and picked up the guitar as if it were nothing new, as if people frequently summoned his dead soul to play them music. He took out his phone and dialed Cecil's number.

"Pardon me, Mr. The Scientist."

He froze, not daring to look up at the Councilperson. If Carlos were one to swear, he would've loosed some very colorful language.

"Hand it over."

Carlos extended his phone out to the Concilperson who snatched it and hit the call button. They walked over to the rest of the council. They all stopped and spoke in unison into the small device. Once finished, the same Coincilperson stalked back over and returned the phone to Carlos. "Get out. Never speak of this again."

He didn't really know how to get out of the canyon, but wasn't going to ask. He just ran in a general away direction.

He ended up back at the lab eventually. He did not look out the back window. 


End file.
